How to get what you want from your parents

"I know I can't get whatever I want from my parents. My parents learned from their first child, and unfortunately for me, I'm the second," sophomore Amanda Benton complained. To Amanda, I say, "fear not."

Before you complain about mooching off the 'rents, I'm here to tell you that the college years are our last years to get what we want from them; we must take advantage of this final opportunity. Besides, what's the harm in trying? I could understand the hesitation. Your parents are probably helping to pay for school. They bought you all those nice things in high school. Hell, they've been supporting your ass since diapers. But, they have this innate selflessness to take care of their children. In other words, they're martyrs. And I'm here to show you the necessary techniques to see those sacrifices go to good use.

You simply must decide if you want to ask blatantly, to persuade via good deeds, or to flat-out lie. The latter method was successfully utilized by sophomore Christina Dingcong.

"I heard about something called a featherbed, which is like a huge, soft padding to put under your sheets. I found out that they are pretty much over $50. I mean, do you really think parents would pay over $50 for something to make your bed more comfortable?" Dingcong said. "Being the clever girl that I am, I told my mom that my back was really hurting from the dorm beds and that the egg crate wasn't enough. In conclusion, I ended up with a featherbed."

Devious as it might seem, a harmless fib can get the job done. In Dingcong's case, she assessed her chances and believed lying to be the only profitable route. But to keep your conscience clean, don't ask for something so expensive or extravagantly out of your parents' budget that it's a financial burden for them. Dingcong knew that the $50 was within her mom's budget. And, lastly, only use lying if you're sure honesty won't work.

Now, the honest route is basically just outright asking for something. If you think it sounds risky, that's because it is. Once you commit to this method, you're committed until the end, which will be either a win or a loss. Because of this high backfire potential, it should only be reserved for those surefire items. If you compare the chance of getting a new cell phone to the chance of getting a new winter coat, it's obvious which one is more likely. Students nationwide understand this important distinction between what could be categorized (if need be) as an actual need and what would be a luxury item.

Penn State sophomore Andy Rhodes said, "My parents would never keep me from having something that was really needed, but at the same time, they would never buy me expensive things just because I wanted them - new car, new cell phone...etc."

Because it's the most basic need, getting food will always be a win. Also, seasonal items (tees to hoodies, sandals to boots) are fairly guaranteed, depending on the size of your wardrobe now and the amount you want.

For the most part, parents prefer that their children be honest because they want their children to be upfront about what they need and want.

"My parents always told me to ask if I needed something, and if they can help, they are usually willing," sophomore Dominy Lawson said.

If honesty is doomed to fail and lying feels wrong, the technique that will work for you is a combination of both. In other words: it's quasi-honesty. Do something nice! You obviously have an ulterior motive, but you are giving and not just taking. By doing something kind (laundry, a phone call once in awhile...), you are adopting a golden child persona, one who is much more likely to receive a gift than the bad seed. Parents actually respond well to this tactic. Just be smooth about connecting the task and the want. Carefully, plant the idea (like wanting the new jeans from Gap) a week or two before. Then you should turn-on your good behavior; you should do several nice things for your parents but don't make any requests. Once you are sure of your place in their good graces, go in for the kill.

"Showing us respect, being responsible, and practicing good decision-making work," one generous parent said.

Once you graduate college, you officially become an "adult." Until then, your parents will still consider you under their wing and will probably be saddened by the idea of losing you. Furthermore, just being a college student will get you more stuff than at any other point in your life.

So, in general, the basic rule to achieving parental domination: ask (within reason) and you shall receive. Sometimes it may require a little charm, a little "creative wording," a little gravelling or a little persuasion, but if you follow logic, you can't go wrong. So with that, I leave you with some final advice from the generous parent:

"We feel our children know us well enough that if they ask, and it is within reason we will say yes. If students really want from their parents, then they need to be respectful at all times, generous, giving and not just taking, and truthful. And when the answer is no they need to be understanding and not become defensive and/or argumentative."