A few not so fun myths about sex

Tonight I was searching the web trying to come up with an idea for this week's column. Usually I browse the FAQ of some teen health site and come up with something pretty quickly. While I was surfing, though, I noticed that for all the information about sex that is just a click away there are still a lot myths floating around. Some of these myths were pretty funny and others were kind of sad, but either way I figure it's about time to put some of these myths to bed once and for all.

Let's start with a group of myths I'm calling, ìways around the love glove.î All of them have to do with methods of avoiding pregnancy without using contraceptives. Let me make this simple for you: anytime you have sex, pregnancy is a possibility, even if you are: in a pool/hot tub, standing up, or virgins, or if he pulls out or if she douches. While Monty Python may have gone a bit too far when they claimed ìevery sperm is sacred,î those little guys are really hard to stop when they are on their way. The heat of a hot tub or douching with soda won't kill them. Whatever type of douche the girl uses, it will most likely push the sperm further along on its special little egg hunt. Also, no matter what anyone tells you always remember virgins don't fire blanks.

The next group of myths is all about the male member. The newest rumor that I've heard seems to be if a guy loses weight his penis will become bigger. Sorry, but just because you now have a better view of it, doesn't mean it's bigger, which leads us nicely into our next myth: it's all about size. Also false. Most girls find that an abnormally large penis can, in fact, be painful. Most guys are around five to six inches and their race, shoe or hand size has nothing to do with that. Sorry ladies, there's nothing on the body that you can use as a measurement of his special part.

For all you guys in the Short Man's Club, fear not: size doesn't matter as much as what you can do with it. If you can't work what you've got, size isn't going to help you. Another myth that many guys are probably familiar with is that if they wear a condom, they won't feel anything. While condoms do numb the little guy down there, they don't kill the feel that much. That slight numbing is no reason to go bare back. Aside from preventing against pregnancy and some STDs, condoms increase a man's staying power, which means if you have some premature problems then condoms will be a big help.

Onward coeds to the ìeveryone's doing itî myths. As hard as it may be to believe, not everyone is playing the porn music after dark. More and more teens are putting off sex. That doesn't mean they don't still feel pressured to perform. But no matter who you are or how many times you've done it before, don't ever let anybody pressure you into anything you don't want to do. And anyone who uses the line ìyou'd do it if you loved meî needs to be drop kicked. Don't let anyone use your heart like a bargaining chip. And ladies if a guy tells you that he needs to do it once he's worked up or he'll be in immense pain, (the term blue balls might show up in his vocabulary) send him home. It doesn't hurt women when they don't get off, and it sure won't hurt men. This is just a really lame attempt to guilt you into something.

There's also a load of old wives tales about the old practice of self-pleasure. As you probably all know from experience, you won't go blind or grow hair on your palms from playing the pink piano. A little (or a lot, depending on what your tolerance is to chafing) of masturbatory fun never hurt anybody. In fact masturbation is a great form of stress relief. It even helps lighten the effects of PMS. So now that you know you're not a pervert and you're not going to Hell, you can start using masturbation as a learning tool. Experimenting by double clicking your mouse can help you learn what you like and will help increase ejaculatory control.

Some un-hep cats out there are spreading the word that drugs and alcohol enhance sex. Along with all the other unpleasantries related to these substances, they could actually cause impotence and an inability to orgasm, along with increasing the risk of date rape and other sexual assault. And what's the point of having great sex if you don't remember you've had it the next day?

Last - but not least - are the myths on relationship sex. Some people think that the best sex happens at the beginning of the relationship. First of all, sex should get better every time you and your partner hook up. Practice makes perfect, and things should get better as you each learn what the other likes. The only way sex can get boring is if you allow it to get that way. There are hundreds of different things to try in the bedroom or wherever else you choose to make the beast with two backs.

Another myth is that if you fantasize about someone else during the act, it's just like cheating. Look, a fantasy is just that a fantasy. It doesn't mean you'll act on them. Also fantasizing about the same sex does not mean your homosexual. It is perfectly normal for a straight person to have homoerotic fantasies. When it comes to the normalcy of fantasies, I draw the line at barnyard animals. Aside from that, your mind is the best place to experiment and decide if your fantasy is something you'd like to have happen in reality.

Whatever you decide to do with your body, make sure you know the facts. As you can see there are a lot of mixed up people running around out there, so make sure you are getting your information from a reliable source. If you don't know something, ask, screwing up sex can really kill a night (or early morning, whatever you're into). As always coeds, be safe and have fun. increase ejaculatory control.